Why Bill Gates Is Better Than You In Bed

It turns out size does matter when it comes to satisfying women — just not in the way you might think.

A study released this week suggests the bigger your wallet, the more you’re able to make your lady moan. The research, conducted by Newcastle University in the United Kingdom, says women actually have more orgasms when they’re in bed with rich men. A man’s money proved to be a stronger indicator of his partner’s pleasure than body symmetry or even overall attractiveness.

Sound crazy? The scientists suspect the whole thing comes down to evolution: A guy with a thick billfold is likely to be able to provide for a woman and her children. She consequently climaxes, then, to “signal loyalty” and keep him around.

“It serves to discriminate between males on the basis of their quality,” the researchers say.

For the record, I’m rich at heart, even if not on paper.