Video Games: Now Teaching Children to Drive (Poorly)

Video Game CrashScrew drivers ed — video games are now all you need to teach kids how to drive. At least, if you don’t mind them crashing.

A six-year-old from Virginia seemingly missed his school bus one morning and decided to take his family’s sedan for a spin instead. The kid actually figured out how to start the vehicle up and made it about six miles before things took a bad turn.

Long story short, he weaved on and off the road and eventually slammed into a utility pole, the AP reports. (He’s fine.) The amazing part of it all? He was only a mile and a half from his school when his joy ride came to an end.

But here’s the kicker: The kid told police he learned how to drive by playing “Grand Theft Auto” and “Monster Truck Jam.”

“The Lord was with him,” the sheriff of the town — which, might I add, actually has the word “church” in its name — said.

“Unfortunately, his parents were not,” he forgot to add.

Damned video games — they’re always making people do all sorts of dangerous stuff. When will they learn that they’re in charge of parenting our nation’s children?

It’s getting to be almost as bad as that good-for-nothing Internet.