The Virtually Embarrassing Side of Crime

All right, we’ve seen the problems that can come with virtual dating and virtual, um, violating. Now, the cyberworld is reaching a sad new low: the virtual crime, committed by what we can only assume are people with virtually no lives.

First up, the online murder: A Japanese woman is facing five years in jail and a $5,000 fine for what detectives describe as a “killing off” of her pretend cyber-husband. The lady and her digital dude met on the role-playing game “Maple Story” and immediately had some hot and steamy avatar interaction. Then he got sick of her…and e-ended the relationship.

“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” CNN quotes her as telling investigators.

So what’d our gal do? She hacked into the guy’s account, police say, and deleted his character. And the cops are taking this thing seriously. They transported the woman 620 miles across the country to be detained where her one-time online lover lives. The official explanation for her holding is “suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data.”

But that’s not all. A couple of Dutch kids are in hot water for an armed robbery of a 13-year-old boy. Officers say the dorky duo beat the teen up, then held him at knifepoint to get what they wanted. Which was some random virtual crap his character had in an online game. An “amulet” and “mask,” to be specific.

Here’s hoping those two end up meeting the Japanese lady in a chat room one day soon and really hitting it off. I think her faux passion-inspired antics might just be the perfect punishment.

It all sure makes you long for the days of good old-fashioned psycho chicks and street toughs, doesn’t it?