You may have noticed TechCult’s Monday Mailbag — our usually chipper weekly feature in which we take your questions, comments, suggestions, and insults — has not made an appearance in a while. We had hoped not to have to discuss this difficult subject; however, we realize it can no longer be avoided. In the Mailbag’s absence, we bring you the following reader e-mail and response explaining the sudden disappearance.

Dear TechCult,

It has come to the attention of various people in my organization that this week you missed the Monday mailbag.

How COULD you?! People in this organization wait all week long to read your ever-serious responses to the various people that waste your precious time by writing to you!

I think this is a crime and that you should be punished by publishing a WEDNESDAY or THURSDAY mail bag this week to make up for it! :-D

Regards,

F.L.

Dear Mr. L,

Thank you for your kind note. We are pleased to see the level of professionalism and dedication demonstrated by the fine employees within your organization. Your company clearly knows how to maximize its workers’ on-the-clock hours — and for that, we applaud you.

Unfortunately, however, the Monday Mailbag has been abducted from our offices. We believe it may have run off with a former flame. (It was known to associate with some other bags of questionable character in its past.) In any event, we have contacted the local police agency multiple times. For reasons we cannot understand, they continue to yell obscenities and hang up on us. We can only assume that means the search is going well.

We hope to see the Mailbag’s safe return eventually. Until then, we’ll have to pout in the corner. And perhaps eat some Cheetos.

With great sorrow,

Your friends at TechCult

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