associated-press-500-wordsIn the Associated Press’s latest display of ignorance toward media evolution, the company has now placed a 500-word limit on all entertainment stories — everything from reviews to interviews, even in-depth trend-oriented articles.

The move, recently discussed by Chicago Sun-Times writer Roger Ebert, is accompanied by a new set of content standards. The AP, Ebert explains, wants its writers to “focus more on the kind of brief celebrity items its clients apparently hunger for” — you know, affairs, addictions, and other Hills-worthy bits of “drama.”

We here at TechCult are always eager to embrace new trends, so we have decided to follow suit with our own set of revised standards. If 500-word stories focused on personal drama are good, then surely 20-word versions of the same would be better. The AP, as we’ve seen in the past, certainly understands the blogosphere and the future of online media. So it must be onto something here that we can’t yet comprehend.

With all of that in mind, please disregard everything you’ve read so far. The following bolded paragraph is actually today’s TechCult story. Please note that we have no real insight into celebrity goings-on, so this and all subsequent reports will be written vaguely enough that they could be about anyone, depending on individual interpretation.

OMG. That one famous person is totally strung out and cheating on that other celebrity with whom she often copulates.

That, my friends, is how you do it. Twenty words…pure power. Welcome to the world of new media. TechCult is AP-ready.

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