flight attendantA seemingly awesome plan to turn airline flight attendants into a full-fledged flying porn patrol has, much to our disappointment, been dropped.

Delta had initially planned to have its flight attendants monitor “inappropriate surfing” on its soon-to-be-launched in-flight WiFi service. But now, it’s rethinking that approach — turning instead to an automated blocking system, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

Compared to other airborne porn blockers, Delta says its filtration will be “limited in scope” and will only cover sites that “few, if any, would question are inappropriate to be viewed on an aircraft.” (Damn. Guess you won’t be able to read TechCult mid-flight, then.)

In the end, it’s probably a far smarter idea. Just imagine, though, the fun phrases we’ll never get to hear:

  • “Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached an altitude at which it is safe to use portable electronic devices — with the exception of cell phones, radios, TVs, or laptops being used to view T & A.”
  • “FAA regulations strictly prohibit tampering with, disabling, or destroying any lavatory smoke detector. Porn-related lavatory activity is also strictly prohibited all throughout the flight.”
  • “Sir, could I ask you to fasten your seatbelt…and kindly navigate away from hotsluts.com?”

And, finally:

  • “Excuse me. That’s not what we meant by the sign ‘cockpit.’”
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