TechCult’s modern love guru, Dr. Dorkus, covers tech-related amorous affairs.

dorkusWhy, hello, kind disciples! It’s my pleasure to be back here at TechCult talking about tantric topics. Today, our love lesson takes us to the mobile phone. And my, how things have changed over the years.

Turns out these days, you don’t have to be a Romeo in order to push a lady’s buttons. You just have to push your own buttons — on the phone, that is! Texting is the new way to woo, some highly scientific research by AT&T claims. Good thing there’s no conflict of interest there! SAY WHAT?

But let’s put business aside and get back to our business of getting down to business. The study found a whopping 68 percent of people say they send “love notes” via text message, and another 67 percent say they flirt over SMS. Sixty-nine percent say: “Heh, 69.”

Here’s the real deal, though, my high-tech text lovers: Even if you don’t have the cahunas to approach a lady in person, you still have to say the right thing — and a dainty little mobile message is no exception. Well, I guess it depends on the kind of gals you’re going after. Maybe a simple “I luv ur a$$” is enough for some!

You should know, though, that the survey also found a full 84 percent of people believe sexy texts can easily be misunderstood or misinterpreted. So drop those fancy money signs and just write “ass” to be safe. ZING!

Also, be warned: A separate study showed as many as 14 percent of people have been treated to an electronic-based break-up. Let’s hope the messages at least avoided tacky abbreviations, misspellings, and emoticons.

hay I think we shuld brk-up. y? bc ur an a$$ : P

Remember:
You may be an awkward nerd,
But odds are, you can write a word.
Grab your phone and send a text,
And by tonight, you might get sexed!

Until next time,

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