Times have been hard for everyone, not least the “Russian Business Network”. There was a time when such an ominous-sounding group of legitimate businessmen could have you killed a gesture – nowadays the best they can do is send e-mails saying you’re going to do it yourself. Of course, when they’re a scamming network capable of sending a few hundred thousand e-mails that kind of changes things.

A Swiss blogger who campaigns against online scams on his website the had to spend over an hour convincing the police that he hadn’t written the mails himself, which we imagine must have been the most frustrating tech-person/not-tech-person conversations ever:

Police: Thousands of mail-e things were sent saying you were going to kill yourself.

Blogger: That’s because I campaign against online criminals. Online criminals whose entire deal is, in fact, sending thousands and thousands of e-mails.

P: But these mails say YOU sent them.

B: Yes, officer. Sometimes people lie, you see. Especially online, in fact, and double-especially when they’re online criminals. That’s kind of their thing.

(Repeat x 100)

After several iterations, and perhaps a brief puppet show explaining the concept of computer exploits, the blogger cleared his name and was able to get back to his regular job of repairing his website after denial of service attacks. One man versus a shadowy cabal of international criminals is normally exciting, 90 minutes long and often stars Bruce Willis. But when you end up dealing with the police because you get in the way of online natural selection? That takes dedication.

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