Little Yahoo and Papa Jerry: A Childhood Tale

In keeping with our pledge to innovate fresh and interesting ways to cover the Microsoft-Yahoo saga, today we follow up our cheesy romance novel approach with a childhood tale about a young girl named Little Yahoo.

Little Yahoo used to be a star pupil. She burst onto the kindergarten scene, young and full of energy. Her classmates loved her and she was at the top of her class — at least, until last year.

That’s when Google, a good-looking girl from California, moved into Little Yahoo’s first grade class. Suddenly, Google was getting all the attention — and Little Yahoo was getting left behind. Her grades slipped; her popularity plummeted.

Little Yahoo’s rich relative, Uncle Carl, thought he’d found the solution. A trusted school in a nearby suburb, Microsoft Academy, was willing to take Little Yahoo in. They approached her family and made an offer — but Little Yahoo didn’t like it.

“No!” Little Yahoo whined, stomping her feet and crying. “I wanna stay here and get popular again on my own!”

Her father, Papa Jerry, sided with her and refused to face the reality of his little girl’s plight. Back and forth they went, but Microsoft Academy couldn’t convince Papa Jerry and Little Yahoo to join its ranks. With her mother long out of the picture, Papa Jerry’s word was final.

The people at Microsoft Academy knew something was wrong. Papa Jerry loved his little girl, they realized, but he had become blind to her best interests. Finally, the Microsoft Academy administrators decided they couldn’t take any more.

“We won’t deal with you any more, Papa Jerry,” they said. “We’ve been meeting with Uncle Carl and know we could help turn Little Yahoo’s life around. But as long as you are in charge of her life, nothing good can happen. Step away and let her uncle take over, and we’ll talk again. Until then, we’re through.”

Uncle Carl pleaded with Papa Jerry, too.

“Come on,” he said. “You’re in over your head here. Let me and the rest of the family handle this. It’ll be for the girl’s own good. We’ll take her to Microsoft Academy and build her a better life.”

Papa Jerry couldn’t handle it, though. He snapped back at Uncle Carl: “We can’t do it! I don’t believe that you can make her life better! I AM THE BEST FOR HER!”

Sadly, while everyone around him could see Papa Jerry’s defeat, he still wouldn’t admit it — not to himself or to anyone else.

Uncle Carl sighed. He knew it would come to this. He’d already alerted child support workers about the case, and now the state would have to step in. The Department of Children and Families would weigh the issue early next month. It’d be up to them to decide whether Papa Jerry was out of line in keeping Little Yahoo away from the Microsoft Academy. If they, like almost everyone else in Little Yahoo’s life, felt that Papa Jerry was a poor parent and was harming his child’s chances at success, they’d vote to have her taken out of his custody. Then, with Uncle Carl running the girl’s life, the talks with Microsoft Academy could resume and the once brilliant little girl could get back on the right tracks.

Now, though, all Uncle Carl could do was wait for the hearing and hope the state would see what everyone else in the world saw — but what Papa Jerry would never acknowledge. Then, he thought, maybe precious Little Yahoo could thrive again; maybe their weary child could finally regain her glory.

To be continued…