internet-versus-sex-studyGentlemen, begin your mourning: A new study finds modern women value the Internet more than intercourse.

Some research commissioned by Intel found a full 46 percent of ladies say they’d rather go two weeks without getting busy than two weeks without getting online. When you look at women 18-34 specifically, the number jumps to 49 percent. For gals ages 35-44, it’s a buzz-killing 52 percent.

Guys aren’t in the clear, either. About 30 percent of men made the same sex-shunning selection. Oddly though, the younger the guys, the more likely they seem to pick the broadband connection over the intimate connection. With men 18-34, 39 percent went for the Web before the bed. With ages 35-44, the number of numbskulls dropped to 23 percent. Guess sometimes, wisdom does come with age.

There are a few things to consider here, though: First, as The Wall Street Journal points out, this survey was conducted online. And, let’s face it — the kind of people sitting around and opting to fill out online surveys about how much they value sex probably aren’t getting much to begin with.

Then there’s the fact that the participants never specify what they’re doing during all their online time. Maybe they’re porn addicts, or antisocial oddballs who obsess over cybersex but never speak to the opposite gender in person. Betcha didn’t consider that, did you, Mr. Intel Engineering Man?

Finally, there’s the most logical and likely explanation: The people surveyed are devout readers of TechCult. I mean, come on — who wouldn’t take our occasionally amusing quips over regular under-the-cover lovin’? Our site is large, well-maintained, and always ready to give you another round. How many guys can match that?

Man, it feels good to be loved by the ladies.

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