Google’s free 411 service has expanded to Canada. The directory assistance — accessed by calling 1-800-GOOG-411 — lets you search for and dial any business just by speaking its name and location.

Google engineers say they’ve modified the voice recognition system to be able to understand what Canadian English speakers are talking aboot (seriously!). With that in mind, we thought maybe Google could consider some other user-specific system modifications:

  • GOOG-411 Mozilla: Built to withstand millions of calls per hour
  • GOOG-411 Associated Press Employee: Engineered to hang up immediately for fear of being sued over something
  • GOOG-411 Jerry Yang: Customized to ignore various whimpers and sobs
  • GOOG-411 Paris Hilton: Features high-security direct connection to enable remote cell phone scanning and downloading of any naked self-pics and vids
  • GOOG-411 Teen Girl: Like, totally filters out like, all sorts of added in words and stuff so it can like figure what business you want to like totally call
  • GOOG-411 Tom Cruise: Automatically ignores any mentions of Scientology, conspiracy theories, or underage boys
  • GOOG-411 Jeff Weiner: Includes special laugh-proof technology to prevent snickering when user name is spoken
  • GOOG-411 TechCult: Disregards all smartass remarks and mildly amusing pop culture references

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