GNR Xbox Launch: The Beginning of iAxl (We Hope)
Welcome to the virtual jungle, baby: Axl’s announced he’s officially releasing the first track from Guns N’ Roses’ upcoming Chinese Democracy album via Rock Band 2.
“Shacklers’ Revenge” will debut on the game this fall, in what will presumably be the first legal appearance of any material from the long-delayed album. We here at TechCult are hoping it will also be the first of many steps toward the launch of the new iAxl 2.0. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for:
- The “Get In The Ring Blog,” where Axl writes profanity-laden rants about all the things that piss him off
- The GnR Virtual Concert Experience, where you can sit in an empty virtual stadium and wait for three hours for the band to show before the virtual concert is cancelled
- A complete GnR virtual world, where you can watch Axl, Slash, and all the other various former GnR members interact (translation: beat the holy hell out of each other)
- A “dressing room” feature in the virtual world where you can outfit your avatar with tiny biker shorts, kilts, Charlie Manson t-shirts, and the occasional sports jersey
- An Axl Transformation Wizard, where Axl teaches you step-by-step how to make the change from 80s-90s badass to scary Botoxed guy with too many cornrows
iAxl, we anxiously await your high-tech debut — even with the Botox, cornrows, and lack of kilts (here’s hoping Xbox Axl is at least based on 80s-era Axl). Come rock our modern tech-crazed society, you crazy sweet child o’ ours — and for the love of all things sacred, bring this new generation of video gamers to its virtual shuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-knees.