You’d think America’s Transportation Security Administration would know a thing or two about security. Of course, you’d be wrong.

Case in point: The TSA has been in a tizzy for the past week since its San Francisco agents reported a checkpoint laptop as missing. The laptop — used for the “fast-pass” security prescreening program at San Francisco International — had personal information of 33,000 airport passengers. And the data wasn’t encrypted.

Now, that’s security. But it gets even better.

A full investigation’s been underway, and the airport even restricted the prescreening program. At least, until now.

Turns out, our missing laptop — yeah, it was in the TSA office. The same office it’s always in. The same office from which it was reported missing.

“It’s not so much a security issue as a violation of personal information,” a TSA spokesman said in response to the situation.

“And a display of total retardation,” he probably should have added.

Well, at least we can rest in comfort that even if America’s Transporation Security Administration can’t secure or keep track of its confidential data, it can thoroughly search every 85-year-old woman who passes through an airport checkpoint, every hour of every day. Keep up the stellar work, fellas.

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