Chrome May Not Be Able To Topple IE…But We Can

chromeMy friends, it’s time to unite. Together, we can move the world off of Internet Explorer…one system at a time.

This week’s release of Google’s Chrome browser highlights the problem. Chrome is a fairly solid program with some innovative offerings. It has its flaws, sure — but this is only its first beta release, so things are apt to evolve.

In reviewing the browser, it’s easy to find advantages still held by Firefox. It’s damned near impossible, though, to find any reason anyone would possibly use IE over it — or, for that matter, over most anything (concrete slab and rock included). Even the highly touted private browsing feature in Microsoft’s brand new beta is done better by Chrome. That new feature was really about all IE had going for it.

The explanation, of course, is easy: IE is the singular default option pre-loaded on all Windows systems. Most computer users aren’t savvy enough to (a) realize they can change it, (2) understand why they’d want to change it, or (d) be able to figure out how to change it. All added together, that’s why 70-some percent of them just stick with it.

That, then, is where we come in. Much like its appealing cousin Firefox, Chrome can’t possibly convert all those IE users on its own. But with our help, the world can finally be freed of the vastly inferior and utterly irritating bastard of the browser family. Yes, my brothers and sisters…we can make this happen.

So here’s the plan: We each go door-to-door in our respective communities, delivering the message of our faith to our unenlightened followers. We will show them the light. We will save them. We will turn their lives around.

All we’ll need is a few minutes of their time to explain our position. Anyone should be able to understand it and see the truth. They’ll be better in the end…they’ll thank us.

This will be our mission. We will not stop until we’ve saved every last Explorer-using soul. We WILL unite! We WILL succeed!

In other news, an online tech writer may or may not have inadvertently formed a quasi-religious cult this week. More details as they become available.