Apple Has 159 Billion Dollars

Apple stocks just hit a total value of $159 billion, and may we be the first to say “Holy god that’s a lot of money from painting things white and selling them at twice the price.”  You know how much money $159 billion is?  No of course you don’t, unless you’re reading this for clues on John Connors location, because the human brain simply doesn’t work with numbers that big.

That’s five hundred dollars for every single person in the United States, and popular as it was we don’t think they sold that many iPhones.  This makes Apple a serious contender for nation status – the Gross Domestic Product of Nigeria is only 126 billion and let’s face it, Apple has a much better image.

Picture it: a nation with Steve Jobs as President for Life, and Apple fanboys could actually get paid for hero worship by joining the Glorious Stylish Army.  Every single thing in the country would be slimline white you could get an iStamp on your iPassport every time you visited.

This could also explain why they recently pulled the plug on the $1,000 “I am Rich” application from the iPhone – they can’t be bothered with such small change.