Please be aware that TechCult might be pornographic — at least, if you follow the obscenity standards a “family friendly” foundation wants to apply to the Internet.

The group, called Clean Port 80, is pushing a new kind of content filtration system that’d set up “safe zones” and “obscene zones” on the Web. The plan is being billed as the Internet Community Ports Act, or ICPA. A Brigham Young University law professor’s recent endorsement has catapulted it into the spotlight, but the idea’s been gaining support for some time — and among some pretty high-up people, too.

In a nutshell, the ICPA would require content deemed “obscene” or “pornographic” to be limited to certain specific TCP ports. That’d mean an Internet service provider (or any other sort of agency) could easily restrict access to all of those sites in one clean swoop, at its discretion.

As the professor describes it, the idea would help protect “the right to be free of unwanted speech.” The founding fathers of the U.S. would be proud.

In order to set up the censorship platform family protection system, of course, someone would have to go site-by-site through the Internet and label what is acceptable and what is obscene. Our Brigham Young gal pal says that separation would be simple: Definitions, she explains, are a “diversionary argument.” The truth, she enlightens us, is that “we know [obscenity] when we see it.”

That takes us back to TechCult, then, and the fact that this site might be pornographic. Since we don’t have a definition, we decided to try to survey the site the way an outsider — say, a Brigham Young professor trying free the world of unwanted speech — might do it. Turns out, when you count, there are 13 recent posts here that talk about sex. You’ll find five with the word “ass” in them and one with the word “dick.” Hell, there’s a full page of posts actually about porn. And shit…I just said “hell.” Damn.

In any case, it’s all good. The professor may regulate us to the red light district, but we’re not complaining. If this thing passes, we can’t control it — so we might as well just go ahead and embrace it. Hence this notice, and this official acceptance of our potential porn status.

Hey, I hope your visit’s been as good for you as it was for me. Remember, all writers are over the age of 18, even if they don’t appear so. And for Christ’s sake, grab a Kleenex on your way out.

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